Showing posts with label self esteem. Show all posts
Showing posts with label self esteem. Show all posts

Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Saying NO to a Bully at Work




Saying NO to a Bully at Work

Bullying is rife in the workforce and in relationships where one person attempts to dominate another person and creates a win/lose situation. That's where one person feels ok and the other person doesn't. Relationships are about mutual respect, trust and communication and creating win/win situations. Here are a few tips.

  1. If you feel you Not OK, after a conversation you could be getting bullied
  2. Analyse what's happened: eg. what is a misunderstanding, something not done or finished or something else.
  3. If it is in your job description you probably need to do it.
  4. Be willing to negotiate and compromise if appropriate to create a win/win solution.
  5. Use assertive and professional communication to try to solve the problem
  6. If it still doesn't get solved, decide on your next step. eg. Do you need to discuss it with a supportive and understanding person.
  7. Honour your feelings (gut reaction or intuition) and if it does not feel right, or align to your values, don't do it.
  8. Get more help if you need it
  9. Stand in your own power and be proud to honour yourself.
  If you want more ideas and solutions visit www.difficultpeoplehelp.com for free ebooks and more tips.

Monday, October 28, 2013

TOP 13 WORKPLACE STRESS MOTIVATORS


      1. Role overload
      2. Role ambiguity
      3. Role conflict
      4. Lack of work autonomy
      5. Decision-making or lack of it
      6. Self-esteem & motivation
      7. A feeling of helplessness
      8. Uncertainty and urgency
      9. Poor management or boss
      10. Promotion & recognition
      11. Company politics
      12. Personnel challenges
      13. Personal challenges

Need More Help with workplace stress. Contact Janice for personal coaching email Email Janice
 

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

How to Move from Fear to Faith - Wikipedia's definitions


 
Wikipedia's Abridged Definitions
      

FEAR

Fear is an emotion induced by a perceived threat. It is a basic survival mechanism responding to pain or the threat of danger.

Fear is the ability to recognize danger, flee from it (also known as the fight-or-flight response) or  freeze or paralysis response is possible.

Fear is frequently related to the specific behaviors of escape and avoidance.

Fear almost always relates to future events, such as worsening of a situation.

Fear can also be an instant reaction to something presently happening.

Most common fears: According to surveys, some of the most common fears are of ghosts, the existence of evil powers, cockroaches, spiders, snakes, heights, water, enclosed spaces, tunnels, bridges, needles, social rejection, failure, examinations and public speaking.

Causes: People develop specific fears as a result of learning. This has been studied in psychology as fear conditioning.

Brain: There are studies looking at areas of the brain that are affected in relation to fear. When looking at these areas (amygdala), it was proposed that a person learns to fear regardless of whether they themselves have experienced trauma, or if they have observed the fear in others.

Creation: Fear is affected by cultural influences and historical experience, especially during childhood

Fear of the Unknown: Something that a lot of people are scared of is the "unknown" such as the hereafter, the next ten years, or even tomorrow.

Many people are too scared to take the path they want to, because of what may lie ahead.

Most people would rather teach things they've been taught than go and do research on something new. This can lead to habits such as procrastination and under achievement.

                                    FAITH 

Informal usage of faith can be quite broad, including trust or belief without proof, and "faith" is often used as a substitute for "hope", "trust" or "belief".

Depending on the religion, faith is belief in a god or gods or in the doctrines or teachings of the religion. Wikipedia lists many religions. (This ebook written from that angle)

 Faith concerns questions which cannot be settled by evidence because it is in the future and not yet occurred.

 
THIS EBOOK FOCUSSES ON FAITH IN SELF, ‘THE UNIVERSE’ GOD, SPIRITUALITY  OR WHATEVER YOU WISH TO CALL A HIGHER POWER ON THE BASIS THAT EVERYONE IS WORKING TOWARDS THE GOOD FOR HUMANITY.

Free Ebook 'How to Move from Fear to Faith' Click Here

 

 


 

 

 

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Lacking Confidence to Be Happy? Learn the Movie Stars Tricks!


 Fifty percent of the people in the world are searching for happiness, success, confidence, money and love. At birth new babies were not given a book with instructions and neither were most new parents, so everyone bungled along as best they could. Teenage years and adult hood came along and folk continued bungling along in life...searching for an elusive 'something'. Many people fail to find it and wonder if happiness and success is possible for themselves. In the movies and magazines it seems the celebrities and stars have the answers, but everyone can learn from them. 

Many successes stories start with a decision and commitment to achieve something or follow a dream. Whether it's losing weight, saving money, finding a partner or job, or happiness, it first begins with a negative feeling or thought that really upsets you. You feel unhappy, unworthy, unloved and so much pain around it, that you become entrenched in a rut in your life. Everyone has different levels of not feeling okay but when your uncomfortable feelings and thoughts dominate you day and night you can become depressed and engage in activites that ‘shut out’ your negative thoughts.

 But don't worry you are not alone, every person has the ability to learn the skills to move forward in life and it's a choice between A and B. Choice A you continues to live your present life. Choice B you take steps every day to change your thinking to create a new life for yourself. No-one has control of your thoughts except you, so no matter what others say, your life is in your hands...or head.

It's like walking on a swing bridge when you imagine you will fall off. You get caught in fear and the possibilities of what could go wrong. However, when you finally overcome your fear and find the courage to walk across it, your feelings of absolute achievement and ecstasy have you elated.  You bask living life on a high as you are caught up in the feelings with adrenalin and endorphins pumping through your body.

 This is the same every time you try something you are fearful in your life, so don’t delay your happiness.  Here are three tips that movie stars use to help you.

 Find your passions

Discover something you are so passionate about and enjoy, that life without it would seem unconceivable. Some movie stars come from the life of hard knocks, unhappy families, lack of schooling, money and other challenges...but their commitment to a goal overcomes all the hiccups on their way to success. A sports or movie star does not become a success instantly. It maybe years of starting to act at school, or playing a sport from a youngster that has started the road to their dream.

 With our 'New Zealand Has Talent' appearing on television we are seeing this in action. All of these talented people have been learning about their passion and gifts long before appearing on television

Life is a learning curve - one step at a time.

No-one learnt acting, singing, computer, television, microwave, mobile phone or anything the first time they used it. They went through these three stages of learning.

1)      You think it is so difficult you will never master it without reading the manual each time.

2)      You have been practising and realise this is possible to learn. You start to remember partially how to use it.

3)      After more practise you master the skill. You are proud of yourself and can teach others.

When we watch a movie, we view the final take, when the actors and actresses may have had one or twenty attempts to film that scene. Sometimes we are lucky enough to see some of the 'bloopers' and people have forgotten the words, laughed or a number of other mistakes. So - perfect does not happen the first time you attempt something.

Don't listen to people who don't support you and put you down.

Don't let them upset you. These people have not got the courage to try themselves and learn how to feel good when they achieve something; instead they attempt to 'upset' you. If this happens they have achieved their goal and feel okay. However, you have not achieved your goal and feel not okay. Their emotional intelligent is low and they are may even by jealous, so do not let them deter you.

 In New Zealand, there are many people who criticise your attempts to try something new without even attempting it themselves. Our country is known for the tall poppy syndrome which is where underachievers constantly criticise people who are trying new ideas and achieving. The movie critics are the same. They do not act themselves and are easy to criticise others.

 Having confidence in life is a learning curve. Every time you learn something new, you feel better about yourself. However, to enable you to keep moving out of your comfort zone you have to control your thinking. As you master each new skill into your life, your confidence grows.

If you are not sure what you are passionate about, write down three things you would like to learn. Research them and decide what you have the courage to learn and as Nike says: Just Do It.

Life is about choices. As children we lived under our parents rules but as adults you need to learn new rules that suit your life today. The world is a different place, so it is imperative you update your thinking. We do it with our mobile phones and technology and it is vital you rewire your brain as well.

You need to find the courage to work through your fear to 'get to the other side' or chose to stay living life moaning, grizzling, eating, drinking, and unhappy. You attract other people who live their lives the same and your life will be wasted as you live in a circle of negativity, lack and under achieving.

Everyone has the same time frame, so find a minute a day to write down a quote and read it and learn to recite it. Repeat it the next day and slowly you change your thoughts. Alternatively there are free books and resources in libraries on the radio or television, or attend workshops and courses to learn more quickly to change your confidence levels and ‘get on track’ in your life.

 There is a famous quote" if it's to be - it's up to me”. No body is going to 'learn' things for you. Your life is a big school and if you want to be loved, successful, confident and happy you have to learn the lessons. If a relationship doesn't work, learn more about yourself before finding a new partner. If you lose your job or don't like it, learn what you want and up skill yourself. If you are unhappy, learn how to be happy. The only thing stopping you is your thoughts and if you change those, you will change your life.

 

Janice Davies has four Live Life Confidently workshops from 17 October to 17 November in Auckland. Details at www.attitudespecialist.co.nz  Also free ebooks at www.xfactorconfidence.com
Email Janice@attitudespecialist.co.nz or phone 021 514 511.
 

 

Monday, August 22, 2011

Empowering Yourself to Achieve Your Dreams

BUT ....... No matter what your dream is you need to move out of your comfort zone every day.

When I died (and was revived) on 6th October last year....I was given a second
chance at life....and now I'm making EVEN more of a point to move out of my comfort zone and achieve my dream life....which I am also living right now, but still have my writing. teaching and movie making business goals.

Here's a few tips from Dr John Martinini from THE SECRET who I heard a few weeks ago. He was sharing about life obstacles to our successes.


1 Live to your higher values and you'll achieve more.

2 Fulfilment is filling your mind with what is void for you.

3 When you lose something what do you gain. (He shared a story about a man who had lost $100 million Plus....but now realised he has gained his love for his family, friends, reawakened to nature....and also spiritualiy.

4 Events in your life are not IN the way....but ON the way...(this is what I learnt from my event and really looking after my health more...and having more faith in myself)

5 No matter what happened to me helped my journey.

6 An obstacle is an uninspired action.

He was fabulous to hear and here's a few more ideas about creating your successes, money and dream life.

To be successful it becomes important for all of us to be personally responsible for creating what you want verus expecting someone else to look after you. No matter whether it's business or employment to be more successful, you need to be more confident.

Learning to be Confident - is a Knack!

Now, if you want to learn HOW to get on track, or back on track or refocus on earning the money SO you can CREATE your dream life..enjoy our free ebook. http://www.xfactorconfidence.com

Whether it's a pay increase, promotion, more sales, higher comssions, more clients or customers, you need to keeping trying new ideas to achieve the goal you have.

Every hiccup is a lesson to learn...lets face it...Adidas and Telecom have had a few to learn this week. Even big companies make miss-takes.....so don't get stuck in your challenges...get moving forward. It's only your thinking that's stopping you.


Best Wishes...to achieving your fabulously positive life.

Janice Davies

Attitude Specialist

PS...Remember FREE ebook on XFACTOR Confidence - Using Your Secret Ingredient to Make you More Money and Give you More Free time. http://www.xfactorconfidence.com