Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Lacking Confidence to Be Happy? Learn the Movie Stars Tricks!

 Fifty percent of the people in the world are searching for happiness, success, confidence, money and love. At birth new babies were not given a book with instructions and neither were most new parents, so everyone bungled along as best they could. Teenage years and adult hood came along and folk continued bungling along in life...searching for an elusive 'something'. Many people fail to find it and wonder if happiness and success is possible for themselves. In the movies and magazines it seems the celebrities and stars have the answers, but everyone can learn from them. 

Many successes stories start with a decision and commitment to achieve something or follow a dream. Whether it's losing weight, saving money, finding a partner or job, or happiness, it first begins with a negative feeling or thought that really upsets you. You feel unhappy, unworthy, unloved and so much pain around it, that you become entrenched in a rut in your life. Everyone has different levels of not feeling okay but when your uncomfortable feelings and thoughts dominate you day and night you can become depressed and engage in activites that ‘shut out’ your negative thoughts.

 But don't worry you are not alone, every person has the ability to learn the skills to move forward in life and it's a choice between A and B. Choice A you continues to live your present life. Choice B you take steps every day to change your thinking to create a new life for yourself. No-one has control of your thoughts except you, so no matter what others say, your life is in your hands...or head.

It's like walking on a swing bridge when you imagine you will fall off. You get caught in fear and the possibilities of what could go wrong. However, when you finally overcome your fear and find the courage to walk across it, your feelings of absolute achievement and ecstasy have you elated.  You bask living life on a high as you are caught up in the feelings with adrenalin and endorphins pumping through your body.

 This is the same every time you try something you are fearful in your life, so don’t delay your happiness.  Here are three tips that movie stars use to help you.

 Find your passions

Discover something you are so passionate about and enjoy, that life without it would seem unconceivable. Some movie stars come from the life of hard knocks, unhappy families, lack of schooling, money and other challenges...but their commitment to a goal overcomes all the hiccups on their way to success. A sports or movie star does not become a success instantly. It maybe years of starting to act at school, or playing a sport from a youngster that has started the road to their dream.

 With our 'New Zealand Has Talent' appearing on television we are seeing this in action. All of these talented people have been learning about their passion and gifts long before appearing on television

Life is a learning curve - one step at a time.

No-one learnt acting, singing, computer, television, microwave, mobile phone or anything the first time they used it. They went through these three stages of learning.

1)      You think it is so difficult you will never master it without reading the manual each time.

2)      You have been practising and realise this is possible to learn. You start to remember partially how to use it.

3)      After more practise you master the skill. You are proud of yourself and can teach others.

When we watch a movie, we view the final take, when the actors and actresses may have had one or twenty attempts to film that scene. Sometimes we are lucky enough to see some of the 'bloopers' and people have forgotten the words, laughed or a number of other mistakes. So - perfect does not happen the first time you attempt something.

Don't listen to people who don't support you and put you down.

Don't let them upset you. These people have not got the courage to try themselves and learn how to feel good when they achieve something; instead they attempt to 'upset' you. If this happens they have achieved their goal and feel okay. However, you have not achieved your goal and feel not okay. Their emotional intelligent is low and they are may even by jealous, so do not let them deter you.

 In New Zealand, there are many people who criticise your attempts to try something new without even attempting it themselves. Our country is known for the tall poppy syndrome which is where underachievers constantly criticise people who are trying new ideas and achieving. The movie critics are the same. They do not act themselves and are easy to criticise others.

 Having confidence in life is a learning curve. Every time you learn something new, you feel better about yourself. However, to enable you to keep moving out of your comfort zone you have to control your thinking. As you master each new skill into your life, your confidence grows.

If you are not sure what you are passionate about, write down three things you would like to learn. Research them and decide what you have the courage to learn and as Nike says: Just Do It.

Life is about choices. As children we lived under our parents rules but as adults you need to learn new rules that suit your life today. The world is a different place, so it is imperative you update your thinking. We do it with our mobile phones and technology and it is vital you rewire your brain as well.

You need to find the courage to work through your fear to 'get to the other side' or chose to stay living life moaning, grizzling, eating, drinking, and unhappy. You attract other people who live their lives the same and your life will be wasted as you live in a circle of negativity, lack and under achieving.

Everyone has the same time frame, so find a minute a day to write down a quote and read it and learn to recite it. Repeat it the next day and slowly you change your thoughts. Alternatively there are free books and resources in libraries on the radio or television, or attend workshops and courses to learn more quickly to change your confidence levels and ‘get on track’ in your life.

 There is a famous quote" if it's to be - it's up to me”. No body is going to 'learn' things for you. Your life is a big school and if you want to be loved, successful, confident and happy you have to learn the lessons. If a relationship doesn't work, learn more about yourself before finding a new partner. If you lose your job or don't like it, learn what you want and up skill yourself. If you are unhappy, learn how to be happy. The only thing stopping you is your thoughts and if you change those, you will change your life.


Janice Davies has four Live Life Confidently workshops from 17 October to 17 November in Auckland. Details at  Also free ebooks at
Email or phone 021 514 511.