More help at www.xfactorconfidence.com
Monday, March 11, 2013
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
Fear is an emotion induced by a perceived threat. It is a basic survival mechanism responding to pain or the threat of danger.
Fear is the ability to recognize danger, flee from it (also known as the fight-or-flight response) or freeze or paralysis response is possible.
Fear is frequently related to the specific behaviors of escape and avoidance.
Fear almost always relates to future events, such as worsening of a situation.
Fear can also be an instant reaction to something presently happening.
Most common fears: According to surveys, some of the most common fears are of ghosts, the existence of evil powers, cockroaches, spiders, snakes, heights, water, enclosed spaces, tunnels, bridges, needles, social rejection, failure, examinations and public speaking.
Causes: People develop specific fears as a result of learning. This has been studied in psychology as fear conditioning.
Brain: There are studies looking at areas of the brain that are affected in relation to fear. When looking at these areas (amygdala), it was proposed that a person learns to fear regardless of whether they themselves have experienced trauma, or if they have observed the fear in others.
Creation: Fear is affected by cultural influences and historical experience, especially during childhood
Fear of the Unknown: Something that a lot of people are scared of is the "unknown" such as the hereafter, the next ten years, or even tomorrow.
Many people are too scared to take the path they want to, because of what may lie ahead.
Most people would rather teach things they've been taught than go and do research on something new. This can lead to habits such as procrastination and under achievement.
Informal usage of
faith can be quite broad, including trust or belief without proof, and
"faith" is often used as a substitute for "hope",
"trust" or "belief".
Depending on the religion, faith is belief in a god or gods or in the doctrines or teachings of the religion. Wikipedia lists many religions. (This ebook written from that angle)
Faith concerns questions which cannot be settled by evidence because it is in the future and not yet occurred.
Free Ebook 'How to Move from Fear to Faith' Click Here
Monday, November 19, 2012
Moving from Fear to Faith has been a journey I’ve undergone…and I must say it has included some great lessons in life. When you are learning people transform gradually through a series of steps.
You may recall the first time you learnt to drive a car, use a computer or any other new skill, mastering the new information was a staged process for you. It is the same when you move from Fear to Faith:
Stage One – Impossible. You repeatedly refer to a manual.
Stage Two – Possible. Now you can remember a few of the instructions.
Stage Three – Mastery. You remember many commands and you continue to master your skill
My Tips to Help You:
- Realise that life is a big school and every day you have a lesson.
- Let go of the past, live in the present, enjoy today, create your future.
- You are unique, no-one has your fingerprint…learn to be your best.
If you want to be ahead of the rest of the pack...coaching and classes available.
Email for details. firstname.lastname@example.org
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
Stage One – Analysing
Personality Styles (PS)
Understand your own PS
Understand the other persons PS
I’m not OK, You’re not OK;
I’m not OK, You’re OK;
I’m OK, You’re not OK;
I’m OK, You’re OK;
Stage Two – Your Checklist for Strategising
Did you use effective communication?
Did you use words they understand (not technical or slang)
Have you made the message easily understood?
Have you checked the receiver understood you message?
Which communication style is being used? Passive, Aggressive Assertive (circle)
Did you use “I” statements in your conversation?
Has good listening skills, empathy been used?
Did you use one of the ‘feedback’ tools?
Is your self-esteem in tact? Is the other person’s?
Did you ensure your ego is out of the way and not boosted?
Does the person have a positive or negative attitude? (circle)
Stage Three – Action
Have you thought about how you are going to carry out this action plan
Is it feasible and progressive?
Is there room for change over 1, 2, 3, 6 months, allowing time for learning?
Do you need to organise a meeting with the other person?
Want more information? Free Ebook and Course at http://www.difficultpeoplehelp.com
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
Fifty percent of the people in the world are searching for happiness, success, confidence, money and love. At birth new babies were not given a book with instructions and neither were most new parents, so everyone bungled along as best they could. Teenage years and adult hood came along and folk continued bungling along in life...searching for an elusive 'something'. Many people fail to find it and wonder if happiness and success is possible for themselves. In the movies and magazines it seems the celebrities and stars have the answers, but everyone can learn from them.
Many successes stories start with a decision and commitment to achieve something or follow a dream. Whether it's losing weight, saving money, finding a partner or job, or happiness, it first begins with a negative feeling or thought that really upsets you. You feel unhappy, unworthy, unloved and so much pain around it, that you become entrenched in a rut in your life. Everyone has different levels of not feeling okay but when your uncomfortable feelings and thoughts dominate you day and night you can become depressed and engage in activites that ‘shut out’ your negative thoughts.
But don't worry you are not alone, every person has the ability to learn the skills to move forward in life and it's a choice between A and B. Choice A you continues to live your present life. Choice B you take steps every day to change your thinking to create a new life for yourself. No-one has control of your thoughts except you, so no matter what others say, your life is in your hands...or head.
It's like walking on a swing bridge when you imagine you will fall off. You get caught in fear and the possibilities of what could go wrong. However, when you finally overcome your fear and find the courage to walk across it, your feelings of absolute achievement and ecstasy have you elated. You bask living life on a high as you are caught up in the feelings with adrenalin and endorphins pumping through your body.
This is the same every time you try something you are fearful in your life, so don’t delay your happiness. Here are three tips that movie stars use to help you.
Find your passions
Discover something you are so passionate about and enjoy, that life without it would seem unconceivable. Some movie stars come from the life of hard knocks, unhappy families, lack of schooling, money and other challenges...but their commitment to a goal overcomes all the hiccups on their way to success. A sports or movie star does not become a success instantly. It maybe years of starting to act at school, or playing a sport from a youngster that has started the road to their dream.
With our 'New Zealand Has Talent' appearing on television we are seeing this in action. All of these talented people have been learning about their passion and gifts long before appearing on television
Life is a learning curve - one step at a time.
No-one learnt acting, singing, computer, television, microwave, mobile phone or anything the first time they used it. They went through these three stages of learning.
1) You think it is so difficult you will never master it without reading the manual each time.
2) You have been practising and realise this is possible to learn. You start to remember partially how to use it.
3) After more practise you master the skill. You are proud of yourself and can teach others.
When we watch a movie, we view the final take, when the actors and actresses may have had one or twenty attempts to film that scene. Sometimes we are lucky enough to see some of the 'bloopers' and people have forgotten the words, laughed or a number of other mistakes. So - perfect does not happen the first time you attempt something.
Don't listen to people who don't support you and put you down.
Don't let them upset you. These people have not got the courage to try themselves and learn how to feel good when they achieve something; instead they attempt to 'upset' you. If this happens they have achieved their goal and feel okay. However, you have not achieved your goal and feel not okay. Their emotional intelligent is low and they are may even by jealous, so do not let them deter you.
Having confidence in life is a learning curve. Every time you learn something new, you feel better about yourself. However, to enable you to keep moving out of your comfort zone you have to control your thinking. As you master each new skill into your life, your confidence grows.
If you are not sure what you are passionate about, write down three things you would like to learn. Research them and decide what you have the courage to learn and as Nike says: Just Do It.
Life is about choices. As children we lived under our parents rules but as adults you need to learn new rules that suit your life today. The world is a different place, so it is imperative you update your thinking. We do it with our mobile phones and technology and it is vital you rewire your brain as well.
You need to find the courage to work through your fear to 'get to the other side' or chose to stay living life moaning, grizzling, eating, drinking, and unhappy. You attract other people who live their lives the same and your life will be wasted as you live in a circle of negativity, lack and under achieving.
Everyone has the same time frame, so find a minute a day to write down a quote and read it and learn to recite it. Repeat it the next day and slowly you change your thoughts. Alternatively there are free books and resources in libraries on the radio or television, or attend workshops and courses to learn more quickly to change your confidence levels and ‘get on track’ in your life.
There is a famous quote" if it's to be - it's up to me”. No body is going to 'learn' things for you. Your life is a big school and if you want to be loved, successful, confident and happy you have to learn the lessons. If a relationship doesn't work, learn more about yourself before finding a new partner. If you lose your job or don't like it, learn what you want and up skill yourself. If you are unhappy, learn how to be happy. The only thing stopping you is your thoughts and if you change those, you will change your life.
Tuesday, August 28, 2012
- Be a Winner By Boosting Your Self Esteem by Janice Davies (US$14.90)
- If You’re a Dog, You Gotta Bark by Martin Gray (US9.99)
- Inside Your Mind by Stephanie Philp (US$15)
- Better Questions to be More Optimistic by Lindsay Tighe (US$9.95)
Click on the book links to purchase.
- Be a
Winner By Boosting your Self Esteem. Low self esteem destroys lives,
careers and relationships, so if low self-esteem is a challenge for you or for
someone you love, then this book is a must-read. It includes definitions,
quotes and self-help exercises to assist you to work towards your greatness. You
- 4 definitions of self-esteem
- 5 activities to boost your self-esteem
- 5 activities to boost another person's self-esteem
- Activities to boost a child's
You’re a Dog, You Gotta Bark. If you’ve ever felt "I can't go on like
this anymore: how do I get out of this mess and live a life I really would
enjoy?" then you will love Martin Gray's book because Martin is passionate about
people being able to express themselves; to BE themselves; to be creative in
their life and to reach their own, un-restricted potential.
He found himself following the ‘success' credo - which resulted in him having a complete nervous breakdown. During some dark days, he went through periods of self doubt, semi-depression and dissatisfaction. But during those black times, he also began to get insights into who he was and what he really wanted to do with his life. Great read.
- You're going to love learning
more about what goes on, 'Inside Your Mind' and using the
skills in this highly interactive, multi-sensory E Book to enhance your thinking
processes and ignite your success. This is real practical stuff you can
* How to make subtle changes to your mental maps to enhance how you feel
* How to consciously take control of feeling good more often!
* How thinking occurs and how you create your mental maps
* How to change tiny aspects of your thinking processes so you're more motivated
- Better Questions To Be More Optimistic. Pessimists never see or describe themselves as pessimist; they are more inclined to call themselves ‘realists'. But think about that. Does reality always have to be dark? Do we always have to look on the negative side? Does the worst thing that could ever happen, ever actually happen?